Decisions

Hurrah! Some of the uncertainty that hovered around during my last post has now been resolved.



I finally bit the bullet and made some long awaited decisions regarding 2011. I'm staying in Melbourne and just doing casual work. No specialisation. No exams. No contracts. No job security. Actually I'm hoping the casual work will find me not only in Melbourne, but country Victoria, the Gong and maybe even country NSW too.

Lest I celebrate too soon, there's still lots of things I need to do to make this a workable reality. My current work contract runs out in 4 weeks. In that time I need to solidify some of the nebulous options that hover in the wings. I need to sign up with at least one locum agency. Most importantly I need to line up some definite work for February. Bills to pay baby.

A big wide open horizon can be scary. But amazing possibilities!

Intentions

I've been meaning to post here since November, really I have. December hasn't been easy though. There's been a lot of harking back to "this time lat year", mixed in with a healthy dose of "what am I doing next year?", and even more "and what after that?" It's kind of stressful to realise that even now, on December 27th I still don't have any of these questions answered.

It's not like I necessarily want them all answered, either. One last minute job offer (whilst I was enquiring about casual postions) could have resolved all the instability, for one year at least. But that would have meant an interstate move within the next 4 weeks. Back to where I was. Where part of me wants to be, but another (bigger?) part of me is scared of being. I don't think I am ready for that yet.

What I am ready for, I am just not sure.

My nod to Christmas

Unsurprisingly, with everything that's been going on lately, I've been feeling a bit like the Grinch that stole Christmas this year.

However, I *have* unpacked my mini-Christmas tree at home, and I *have* completed my Christmas shopping. So it's not all bah humbug over here.

And yesterday and today I decided to go festive to work.



What the hey, it made me happy anyway!!

And now for something completely different..

Time to shake things up a bit and defunk myself - body, mind and wardrobe.

First of all, a big thanks to Angie from youlookfab for recommending this ruffled singlet earlier in the year. I struggle with buying tops, especially summer tops. This is my first day wearing this top, but I already love its light fabrication (hello 30° weather) and the way it skims over the lumps and bumps in my tummy. Now I wish I'd bought 2 different colours!



But the real reason for this post? I need to move house, and my wardrobe into a much smaller space. Most likely some of it will end up in storage as well. So it's wardrobe cull time. I need help!!

To start off with: 3 blazers (pictured both buttoned and unbuttoned).

The brown and minty green ones I have not worn for at least 4 years. Not because they don't fit my body. Maybe they just don't fit my lifestyle? I always err on the side of under, rather than over dressed. Initially what appealed to me about them was how the linen fabric made them more casual. However I still can't get over the fact that they are a blazer. I always seem to reach for a cardigan or a different cut of more casual jacket first.

I can't wear them to work either, because the sleeves would get in the way too much. The sleeves are too tight for scrunching, but I was wondering if shortening them would work? Worth it or not?

Or maybe its the colours. I love the minty green, but maybe the lighter shades just don't work on me?




This final jacket is less summery. It's a black velvet jacket I bought in Egypt. The quality is not amazing - it's not even lined. The loop-through front closure is very forgiving however. This is the only time I've worn it in the last 3 years.



As ruthless as I am tempted to be, I half wonder whether if I move to Melbourne I would be influenced to smarten up my wardrobe a bit. Especially in the cooler months. Maybe I shouldn't discount the blazer look as too stuffy after all?

What do *you* think - keep or cull?

Click on each picture for a larger version.

And just to kick me while I'm down

Other not-so-nice occurences in the preceding week:

• My mobile phone carked it. It simply won't turn on. Tried plugging it in. Removing the battery and putting it in again. None of it works. And the killer? I can't find the frackin' receipt. This little baby is worth $800. I paid about $400 on eBay only a few months ago and I am still spewing.

• $200 parking fine. Didn't even see the feckin' minature sign saying Bus stop. I have never seen a bus anywhere near that street either. Tried pleading against it, but no go.

• My toaster broke. It was the first appliance I bought well over 10 years ago when I first moved out of home. Never a squeak of a problem, until the other day one of the metal inner trays just snapped. Now I'm resorting to cooking my morning toast under the eletric grill which takes approximately five hundred years and increases my chances of not watching and accidentally burning the toast thousand-fold.

So sure I've been moping around and barely leaving the house. But with shit like that happening, wouldn't you?

Floating adrift

2009 has been a shit of a year for a number of reasons. A mere three weeks ago, however, things were looking up. I was away in China, cycling through countryside and walking The Wall.

But I was looking forward to returning home.

Plans were being made for the future - maybe Melbourne, maybe elsewhere. Regardless, I was looking forward to a relaxed summer down by the beach. With a lighter workload and some spare time on my hands I was planning on finally growing a decent herb garden, getting back into cooking and back to the gym.

Coming back was a nasty shock. To hear that things that I thought were resolving over the past 6 months really weren't resolved at all. That things truly can never go back to how they were. The misery of May was rekindled and relived all over again. That 11 years together is no guarantee of forever.

For the first week I barely stopped crying and I barely left the house.

I'm not crying now (at least not all the time). Now I'm just lost.

I don't know what to think of the future. How do you begin about devising a new future, without the one person that you thought was going to be a constant beside you?

I've got to make a major decision well before December 17 when our lease here expires. Do I stay in this city and find somewhere else on my own, or do I go down to Melbourne alone? (I have a job offer there that starts early Feb). And if I do go, where do I live in between December and February? The logistics of it all exhausts me, when its struggle enough to just drag my body out of bed in the morning.

Different....ouch

For yesterday's exercise, I went and did a beginner's yoga class.

That doesn't sound like much of a big deal, does it? But to me it was, for several reasons.

It's now, what, September? That means it's been 9 months since we moved here. That means its been 9 months that I've been thinking "I REALLY need to go and check out the yoga place just around the corner". You know how it goes. The longer you leave something, the bigger deal it seems and the harder it is to get off your butt and do it.

I'll admit it, I was also SCARED. Yep I am a wuss. Entering a brand new studio with a new teacher and new other students is a daunting thing. Plus this is an Iyengar class, which I don't know much about, so I wasn't sure what to expect.

And guess what - surprise surprise - but IT REALLY WASN'T THAT BIG A DEAL. Sure I felt self-conscious entering the room and not knowing what to do. I also had to deal with my usual claustrophobic tendencies when someone set up their mat so close to me and wedged me into a corner that for some of the poses the instructor asked them to move it a bit away.

But all up I am so glad I went. The different style of class was interesting. It never really twigged to me that this is what a non-Vinyasa class would be like. The props were a bit scary at first, but we only used pretty simple ones so it wasn't too bad.

Will I go back? DEFINITELY. Once my muscles recover. My back and shoulders are feeling it today baby!

Up up up!

I really need to get exercise back into my daily routine. To kickstart this process I'm challenging myself to do some form of exercise every day for 30 days. Today I got a few friends over and walked up and down the Sublime Point track.

It sure was steep: in 1km you ascend 415m! Breathtaking views from the top however, so well worth it!

As of Wednesday I am working nights for 7 days straight (10:30pm-8:30am). That's really going to muck up my schedule and knock about my exercise plans. I'm going to do my best to do at least a walk or a bike ride every day though!

See more progress on: exercise every day for 30 days

One small step for man...

One massive step for me: I have a bike!

Would you be at all surprised to hear that I based my choice of bike in wanting a red one? Seriously there were way too many options in the store and I know zero about bikes to make an otherwise informed decision.

The guys at the shop were very patient and helpful, and didn’t make me feel like a ditz. Even today when I called them saying I can’t move the front gear up. Speaking of which, I better go test out their suggestions just to make sure it is user error and not something wrong with the bike!

Here’s where I went for my first ride yesterday (8km). Such a gorgeous track with great views.

After about 15 rides I need to take the bike back to the shop for a free service. And I want to get a front basket so I can go shopping with it. And maybe a pair of proper bike pants so my a$$ doesn't fall off in pain.

Can you tell I’m excited!!!

EDIT: just went and tried their suggestion of pressing on the gear longer. Guess what it works. DOUBLE OOPS!!

See more progress on: Get a bike and start bike riding

Down to the pub + bonus old outfit

Here's what I wore to the local pub last night. It's a very casual place, where anyone not wearing a flanno shirt, faded jeans and not drunk by 7pm is out of place.



They do a mean burger and chips, and for $8 too! I had the Mexi chicken one, next time I'll go for the lentil. I wish I had taken a picture it was that yummy.

I had to rug up on the way there. Winter has officially struck around these parts. This was my first proper coat outing of the year (in Australia)!



Weirdly enough I just compared our forecast to both San Fran and Toronto. In the midst of our winter we are only a few degrees below you right now in your summer. Are we wussy or what!!!


And now for the bonus: catching up on an outfit I wore way back on March 2nd but never got around to posting. Clearly it was a lot warmer then! What do you think of these pants? They are stretchy and comfy, but don't excite me in any way. I'd never wear them anywhere other than work.

Now this is getting ridiculous

We have been living in this house for nearly 8 weeks. Times flies when you're working your ass off for a mere pittance more than you'd get working the same hours at McDonalds having fun.

Anyway, this is not a rant about money. It's a rant about SPIDERS.

These ones to be precise.


Source: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hunstman_Spider_SMC_2005.jpg

In a mere 8 weeks we have now had 6 of these suckers inside our house/car . It's a bloody infestation!!

I cannot handle the sight of these massive, hairy, sneaky, scurrying spiders. They scare the pants off me. Give me a snake, cockroach or rat over these buggers any day of the week and I will not complain.

I can't handle huntsmen!

Tonight I'm all alone. And we've run out of insect spray. I am feeling very, very vulnerable.

Not a nice way to end the day

Things were looking promising.

Beautiful warm day.....check.

Finishing work at 6pm (for the first time in 2 weeks - official end time is 4:30pm)....check.

Heading down to beach while its still lovely and warm.....check.

Only to find a small crowd of people gathered around watching ambos try to resuscitate a 60-something year old gentleman who had drowned. They couldn't.

So I didn't go for my swim. Some people still were, but frankly I found it quite sacrilegious to be swimming in waves a mere 50m away from a body bag.

Slowly Slowly

That's how I feel this month has gone. And yet, at the same time it's December 17 and what exactly have I been doing or achieving? Not much. For the last few weeks I've felt like I've simply been treading water. Where will we live? What are we doing for Christmas? How about New Years? Are we still going away?

Who knows!!! Certainly not me.

But now at least one those questions has been answered.

Just to backtrack, we applied for the townhouse I mentioned previously last Monday. Three days later I got a call from the agent saying he couldn't find A's application form. I assured him we handed in both forms after sitting there and filling them out at the same time. He said he'd look around his desk. 20 minutes later he called me back and said he couldn't find it.

I asked if he could email a replacement form that we could fill in and fax back to him. He took down my email address. Over an hour later, getting close to COB, I still hadn't received his email. So I called him up, only to be told he had found A's form attached to someone else's application. Thanks for letting me know buddy!!

Time marches on. By Friday we still hadn't heard anything and I was starting to get edgy. I called him up and he said the owner still hadn't decided which applicant to accept. Fair enough. He offered to call me back before the end of the day and let me know what the status was.

Of course I didn't hear from him until Saturday afternoon. This time news was not good. There was nothing wrong with our application, but they had accepted someone else.

I was upset! Neither A or I have ever been rejected from a rental application before. I guess the market is not what it was 4 years ago though! Still life goes on.

It really put us in a pickle though, because we were so happy with this place we had stopped looking at other options. This put us back by at least a week. Not optimal with Christmas and NYE looming ever closer.

Monday I was in a bit of a funk going through the available listings on domain. Tuesday I headed down to the gong again to view a house in the same area. $60 more per week, lovely outside, not so great inside, and a much longer walk to the station for A.

After viewing this house I went to visit my brother who lives nearby. I was sitting on his sofa, brandishing my geeky "real estate spreadsheet" and bitchy about the mess we were in when I got a call from A. We had got the place!! The people they selected had fallen through and were were 2nd on the list. YAYAYAYAYAY!!!

It's not set in stone yet; we have to go down tomorrow to leave a deposit and sign the paperwork. But still, we are in a much better position than we were 3 days ago.


So I still don't know how or when we are moving, what we are doing for Christmas or NYE, or whether we will get to go away. Oh and I've only bought one Christmas present thus far. Wanna swap lives for the next few weeks?

Please cross your fingers for us

If all goes to plan, in a few weeks time we could be living here.



Which is exactly 300m away from this.

*madly thinking positive thoughts towards the property application gods*